Erratic Nerd Writings

To Alliance Command (Hackett, if it ends up being you-I deserved better, especially after rescuing your “dear old friend” from that Batarian prison):

               I know we’re in the middle of a war, and odds are, no one will listen to this any more than the multiple times I tried to tell everyone of this impending invasion.  However, when I ordered our next relay jump plotted, I got a hasty response from Joker that he needed to “teach the new EDI some very important hands-on techniques”.  He then promptly cut off all communications.  I appear to be locked out of my own bridge for the moment, and EDI herself appears to be incommunicado.  So, I’m assuming I have ten minutes or so to get this off my chest.

               The first time, I was a little more understanding with the way things went down.  I was dead; two years passed by…I get it.  However, this time was simply inexcusable.  I put a LOT of hard work getting together a team of experts from across the galaxy, and molding them into a well-oiled fighting machine.  I busted my ass just to get them to join my crew, and we then promptly went through Hell, and survived.  Yet, in a short period of months, while I was temporarily removed from duty pending a crack investigation we all know was bullshit, you let all that work go out the airlock.  Sure, they were an eclectic bunch, but there’s no denying the expertise and talent of those individuals, let alone the sheer knowledge.

               A defecting, top-placed Cerberus official who had many close interactions with the Illusive Man?  Left to fend for herself when his inevitable retribution was ordered.  A brilliant scientist and probably the most knowledgeable still-living mind in regards to the Krogan genophage, not to mention architect of an one-of-a-kind and desperately needed rebuff to the Collector’s swarm?  Not even utilized, at all.  One of, if not the, most powerful human biotic in existence, with working knowledge, from the wrong end, of Cerberus “research” facilities and prisons?  Not to mention certifiably crazy with mass homicidal tendencies and a glaring lack of restraint in giving in to those urges?  Released!  See ya later!  Not to mention two-because one just isn’t enough for my crew, that’s how I roll-unique, one-of-a-kind entities the whole of Citadel space would sit up to stare at.  A genetically engineered super Krogan, and, for lack of a better term, a Geth ambassador.  From a purely strategic, military resource standpoint alone, these two were invaluable beyond measure.  There’s the very well known and prestigious Turian, Quarian, and Asari representatives I had aboard (recognized heroes to the galaxy at large, let alone their respective societies), a master thief, assassin, and veteran mercenary, each with a vast amount of resources, connections, and knowledge that would all be impressive assets by themselves, let alone together.  I mean Jacob I understand, but the rest?  How could any of you just ignore all of that?  Finally, there’s the fact the rest of the crew were captured, and endured a severely traumatizing experience.  Even those that were fully willing Cerberus employees deserved better than to be cut loose or imprisoned, with no counseling or trauma therapy offered.  I’m speaking specifically of two hard working and talented engineers, and the best damn yeoman anyone has ever had, with a skill set far surpassing her job parameters.

               To top it all off, there’s my ship.  That’s right, MY ship.  I willingly brought the Normandy to the Alliance.  The upgrades and retrofitting were a nice gesture, and some of it is proving useful, I’ll admit.  My cabin wasn’t upgraded at all, which I’m fine with, but why the hell did someone take down all of the very costly models I spent a lot of time putting together, and then randomly stuff them in out of the way areas?  Several had to be repainted due to chipping and scuffing.  Several articles of clothing are missing, as well as my custom made, signed Blood Dragon armor.  My artifact is missing, and that wasn’t easy to come by.  Some jackass let my space hamster loose; the first human Spectre should NOT be chasing his pet around in the bowels of his own ship!  And if I find the sick son of a bitch who stole my picture of Liara, they’re going to have the full brunt of the individual responsible for taking down Saren and Soveriegn bearing down upon them!

               Bottom line: what the hell kind of military operation have you guys got going here?  If it wasn’t for Joker and EDI (who had better be close to finishing in there), I’d probably still be watching Reapers tear apart our home as I waited for someone to acknowledge the Normandy wasn’t doing a damn bit of good sitting around in a hangar somewhere while we’re being invaded.  As it is, I’m losing valuable time trying to track down my crew again when I could be saving lives.  Your own lives, included.  Once I finish saving the galaxy-AGAIN-we’re going to sit down and have a nice long chat.

-Commander Shepard; SR2 Normandy